Saturday, July 13, 2013

Dream weddings

Serena and Marcus

I've performed many weddings over the years, and I'll admit, it is one of my favorite things to do as a minister. There's just an aura of joy around weddings that exists at no other time. It's a moment of pure hope, pure love, and pure potential.

When I get together with a couple in regards to their upcoming wedding, I always take the time to get to know them. I see that as my job. I want to dig into the details of their lives, find out how they met and where they fell in love, where their first kiss was, and what it is that keeps them together in the tough times. I know it might seem invasive at first, but the final results are a wedding ceremony that reflects who you are, both individually and as a couple.

R and T
Whether you get married in a cathedral or your mom's backyard,  you deserve a wedding service that is fit for royalty. While there are plenty of jokes about everything being about the dress (in the case of brides), it's just not true. Your wedding day will stick in your mind for years to come, hopefully until the end of your days. Every person involved in your wedding (from the tiniest flower girl to the stuffiest caterer) should be invested in your happiness. If nothing else, vendors need to be aware that word of mouth is one of the strongest (and cheapest!) forms of advertising.

I try to work with a couple to get a feel for what they want and what their family expects. Sometimes it's a very fine line, but my own personal bottom line is that I am employed by the couple, not their families. One of my instructors at seminary, Rabbi Ross, told us that if a parent is being very pushy about their child's wedding, we should retort politely with, "What a charming idea! Have you talked to (bride) about that? I'll be happy to include it if (she) wishes me to!" I don't mind doing a bit of go-between on the wedding day to ensure peace during the ceremony, but ultimately, my responsibility is to the couple. Most pushy types come to me, the minister, because they know darn well that the couple will say no to their ideas.

Amanda and Jason
Creating a dream wedding is not as difficult as you might think, and it need not be tremendously expensive, either. In today's permissive atmosphere, some people even have pot luck weddings, where everyone brings a dish to share (and the recipe to put in a book for the new couple!). Wedding favors can even be picked up in the Dollar Store nowadays, whether you're looking for bubbles, balloons, tablecloths or cutlery.

If you can't afford or don't want a professional photographer, why not pick up a dozen of those disposable cameras, and hand them out at the beginning of the service? Encourage people to take as many photographs as they like, and later you can have them processed and pick out the ones you like best. This idea will produce some truly candid images that will take your breath away, along with a few thumbs and blurry shots. Music can be as simple as a speaker set hooked up to your tablet or smartphone, playing a loop of your favorite songs. You don't have to wear a white dress or tux to get married, either. For hundreds of years, people simply got married in "their Sunday best" and that was good enough.

Stephanie and Darren
Whatever your dream, do work to make it come true. No matter the budget, you can find creative ways to make your wedding incredibly special, and a tribute to your new life together!

If you're thinking of getting married and are looking for a minister, feel free to email me or give me a call. I'll also have a table at the Keene Bridal Show on Thursday, July 25th from 5:30pm-8pm. If you'd like to meet me, come on down! You might win a prize while you're at it!

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